The following messages contain points which I feel need to be said. They will reveal a multitude of perspectives and a deepened insight to the kinds of people who influence our lives, for good or for worse. They will be honest. They will not brush over details lightly. I meant it when I said this blog would not be sugar-coated. I want to reveal the nature of the people I have thus far encountered. in my life; who knows – you might make an appearance! There is a point to all of this so stick with me here and let me introduce you to the following…
To the guy I liked for 6 years straight completely one-sided. & the guy who insisted he wasn’t looking for a relationship…weeks before entering one with someone else. & the guy who wanted me to book a flight to see them before cutting me right off. & the guy who was willing to have me in the car when drink/drug driving. & the guy who was happy to invite me over…to never speak to me again. & the guy who just didn’t reply. – I wish for each and every one of you that your daughters never get treated this way and that your sons know better. I hope for you to find a moment in your life to understand what your motives were; to know that you caused heartbreak in a person that was willing to give the world for you; to learn from your behaviour when starting new relationships. I hope for you to never have to go through what you put me through and that you are always honest, always a gentleman and always courteous and gracious in the decisions that you make. I hope you realise what your intentions are in enough time.
To those who bullied me in school. Who made me scared to get on the bus. Who would do anything to put me down – whilst only in Primary school. Who left me running from the park in tears. Have you learnt? Or are you still desperately seeking your own validation through the oppressing your peers? I have to thank you in all honesty which I imagine isn’t what you wanted to hear. I learnt from an incredibly early age to face what I was afraid of – which was you. I continued going to school. I continued walking through the park. You were the beginning of my thick skin. I can only pray that your ways have not continued to adulthood; that you have realised being a bully has not benefited or enhanced your life, thus was unnecessary.
To the hearts that I have broken. I am so sorry. I have spent the last 6 years trying to figure shit out; shit about myself, my desires, my interests – turns out I made some mistakes and hurt some people along the way. My wish for you is that you have found somebody worthy of your love – they’ll be such a keeper and I am excited for your happy ending.
To the people that taught me to read. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for inviting me to such worlds where I am captivated and taken away. For allowing me to delve into a book and become absorbed in its wonder; an interest which has strengthened and developed with age; it has opened my mind to endless possibilities.
To the people that told me I couldn’t. I am currently 22 years old. I have a 1st Class Honors degree and a Post-Graduate Certificate of Education. I am an Assistant Manager, after progressing up from being a tutor. So, you know what? Actually, I fucking can.
To the girls who loved to put me in their group chat as a topic of conversation; who loved to bond through discussing what they didn’t like about me. I would love to know exactly what I’ve done to you girls to have sparked such a conversation. Have I offended you? Have I upset you? Or is it just a plain dislike – by which case, I believe not talking at all would have a much stronger effect. That way, you can spend your time talking about something a little more worthwhile rather than pin-pointing just what it is that you can’t stand about me. Treat others how you’d like to be treated; you have a responsibility.
To my friends; my best friends. The ones who know exactly what upsets me and worries me. The ones I can lay in bed with being weird as fuck and nobody bats an eyelid. The ones who make me laugh until my stomach hurts. The ones who listen to me and talk to me. The ones I have cried in front of, stressed in front of, spewed in front of and been nothing other than myself – the love and admiration that I have for you is incredible. You are all simply diamonds, shining your sparkles and being beautiful people.
To the friends who are friends but don’t talk much anymore. I hope you are doing well, in fact more than well. I hope you are happy and fulfilling everything that your heart desires. Feel free to drop me a message or a call – I’m always down for a hazelnut latte/pina colada with you.
To my brother. Thank you for being the cool one out of us both – it relieves a lot of pressure on my end!! Thank you for becoming one of my best friends and making me a very proud sister. I always wish the best for you and any path which you follow.
To my Mum and Dad. God. Thank you for your patience. I can’t imagine what it’s been like being responsible for someone like myself – I take my hat off to you both! You are both reflections of who I want to be and I’m excited to share each and every one of my milestones with you.
To the boy I fancied when I was 15 years old. The one with the straightened fringe and the skinny jeans. The one who had lots of friends and was way cooler than I was. Surprise!! Here we are 6-7 years later and you’re all mine! I’m the cat that got the cream! I believe in fate. I believe in everything happening for a damn good reason. Reality is, if this would have happened in year 10, would it have lasted? Let’s be honest – probably not! However fast-forward to our current walks of life and we couldn’t be happier together. I love and appreciate you more than you can imagine.
To the strangers that tell me ‘no’ when I smile at them. Come on, now. Get your lamp and lighten up. I know it’s hard to believe that there are people out there who genuinely want you to feel good and enjoy your day, but we do exist! Here I am! Always be kind to others and acknowledge their interactions with you – you’re no better or worse than any of them.
And finally… I need to put out the most important message of all. To anyone who has:
- Supported me – in all aspects of my life
- Made me laugh – you know how much I love to laugh
- Challenged me – you’ve pushed me to my potential, you’ve given me drive
- Made time for me
- Taken photos with me
- Listened to me
- Picked me up off the floor when I fall over – even though you know I like to try myself
- Bought me a drink
- Bought me anything for that matter
- Thought about me
- Considered me
- Learnt from me
- Supported issues closest to my heart with me – mental health and cancer awareness.
- Given me a chance
- Messaged me first
You are all simply wonderful. The point to this post is to highlight the different kinds of people you will encounter within your life. The gist is that you’ll be able to figure out who still plays an important role in my life and who doesn’t anymore (or never did).
It’s about understanding where your priorities lie and who with. Who has helped to shape the person you are right now, in this second. Hold on to those people and release the rest. Pick yourself up, move forward and don’t forget who’s sticking with you…from dawn to dusk.
‘Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind’ – Dr Seuss.